So, here we go. First, that Christmas quiz. Remember this ..... the question that went with it was something like .." Why did this scare me to death?"
My rational mind, or what's left of it , failed me. I knew full well that others have had this problem. Pamela Petro, in her book "Travels in an old tongue" is constantly encountering Welsh speakers that she can't understand at all, and the only Welsh speaker I know ( I cross her path every 6 months or so in the supermarket car park) says there are several Welsh speakers in her circle whom she can hardly understand.
But sometimes your rational mind isn't up to the job. Like now.
On top of all that, just like last January, I've had a series of various illnesses largely because I am old. I'm still waking the neighbours as I spend every night coughing up most of the known universe, dark matter probably included. I'm just starting to get over it I hope.
One interesting thing has come out of it, in a way. I've often wondered who reads this blog, especially as nobody has ever commented or emailed, in spite of my sometimes provocative, controversial and grumpy remarks. Could it be, I've sometimes thought, that most of the people who read it have got onto it by accident and quickly go away again having realised their mistake.
So, what happened when I stopped writing stuff? Well, very little. The numbers didn't go down, and they didn't go up. Also, there have been some massive leaps ...a few days ago over 200 went on in one day. Who were they? Or was it one person reading the whole thing, every post? In January, a lot more people read this blog than they ever did when I was actually writing stuff on it. Strange indeed.
So what do I make of this "natural experiment "? I don't really know.
But .. if any of you out there have got any advice about how to get out of this ditch of despondency I have fallen into, or any words of comfort, it would be nice to hear them.