As far as I was concerned, there were only two ways to make this tolerable.
[a] Playing chess behind my bible ..I had a "wallet chess set" with little celluloid slips for peices, which slotted into little slits . How Freudian! The only dodgy bit was when it was my turn to read ... I was so engrossed I often didn't even hear the old fool. I was never twigged though, in 5 years!
[b] The only other good thing was when somebody had to read a rude bit .... there's a surprising number of rude bits in the bible. I remember very well the anticipation when one of the class told us there was a rude bit right at the start of the Song of Solomon !
That's Caniad Solomon as far as we're concerned.... a'r y darnau brwnt !
SO .... here it is ! And not only that, but there's also a stunningly early mention of a modern hot beverage ... probably the only mention of any hot beverage in the entire Beibl ! So, watch out for both of those ..... we'll pick it up at Chapter 1, verse 8 ... why not indeed !
8 O ti, y decaf o ferched,
os nad wyt yn gwybod,
yna dilyn lwybrau'r defaid,
a bugeilia dy fynnod
gerllaw pebyll y bugeiliaid.
9 F'anwylyd, yr wyf yn dy gyffelybu
i feirch cerbydau Pharo.
10 Mor brydferth yw dy ruddiau rhwng y plethi,
a'th wddf gan emau.
11 Fe wnawn iti gadwynau aur
gydag addurniadau arian.
12 Pan yw'r brenin ar ei wely,
y mae fy nard yn gwasgaru arogl.
13 Y mae fy nghariad fel clwstwr o fyrr
yn gorffwys rhwng fy mronnau.
I hope you spotted both of them .... if you see what I mean.
Later on there's more ... let's skip merrily on to Ch4 v5
5 Y mae dy ddwy fron fel dwy elain,
gefeilliaid ewig yn pori ymysg y liliau
He's got all the chat-up lines, him! No hot beverages in that bit though.
OK .... there's plenty to be found in there ... but it is music time again, and it's going to be "Ysbeidiau Heulog" ...Super Furry Animals....